What Disease Are You?
You Are Influenza!
Also known as the flu, you are warm, nurturing, and make a great confidante. People admire you for your gentleness and honesty. While you can't literally wipe out 35,000,000 people by causing them to drown in their own phlegm, you sure can clear out a room with your lame jokes.
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[Flu from "influenza", which orginally meant "influence", referring to the astrological influence of stars and planets.]
[In conclusion, the Space Monkeys cause my illness.]